On Kindred Spirits

After 12 months of dating, I am happy to announce the advent of something new...the late-in-life relationship with a kindred spirit. After having a regular gig date night for 12 months, my friend introduced me to his mother, a gentle, smiling lady with the softest hands I'd ever felt. She lives out-of-town which made a casual introduction precious and awkward. The arranged lunch meeting was wonderful. Since I don't think anybody reads this blog of mine, I'll post a recent low-quality pic we snapped at a late-night SBux rendez-vous.

The relentless spirit of HOPE

The world cheered as the carefully choreographed rescue of the Chilean miners ended happily and heroically. Experts in the psychology of survival cited HOPE as the single most influential and sustaining energy driving this successful effort.

HOPE, like faith is a remarkable force. It rallies the human spirit like nothing else. I witnessed its pervasive and positive power two years ago this month when my dad was very sick in the hospital. I recall how tenaciously he hung onto mere fragments of HOPE as he slowly drew himself out of depression and despair to a miraculous full recovery. I remember thinking to myself that his HOPE was unreasonable. Ridiculous even. But I never doubted its strength as I saw it motivate him to reach for a better outcome, a happier life.

HOPE is universal. It is the religion of all. And we were reminded tonight, watching the last of the miners emerge from the rescue capsule that what the world needs now is HOPE.

Keeping the Faith, Feeling the Love

Looking for a job is a surefire way to stressfully ponder the TRUE meaning of life. In the beginning, the prospect of carefully seeking out the perfect position was invigorating. It began for me beneath a gentle halo that I might now callously refer to as blissful disenchantment. By that I mean that I was oblivious to my restless malaise, but too stymied to push out of my comfort zone in pursuit of a passionate purpose. It called up all the fears that we all face down...the scary unknown and its boundless opportunity.

My hope is that along the way I will learn to trust the universe and to look to the stars to guide me. And when I find it, that perfect position, I will start feeling the love.

Social Media and the Pressure to Live an Interesting Life

With everyone tweeting the details of their lives into a carefully crafted 42 word entry, what does that mean for those of us who continue quietly along keeping our details hidden and our exploits under the radar? Social media has created a dichotomous world of exhibitionists and voyeurs. Facebook is a defining model that simultaneously tempts and repels me...how does that person have the nerve to post such blatant nuggets of narcissistic nonsense? And yet , there are those individuals who know exactly how to post... with the eloquent drama of a deftly choreographed soap opera. People whose antics and storytelling prowess somehow keeps us fully engaged and enthralled.

Facebook for one, has created a hierarchy of social media characters. There are the Queen Bee Evangelists whose every word triggers a frenzy of no less than 18 posts no doubt from the disciples who aspire to be so I N T E R E S T I N G. Then there are the post-challenged who try to be clever and cool, but whose posts fall like lukewarm dribble between drama and dirge. Last, there are the Facebook "Air Eaters" who just eat up the air without leaving behind anything much to remember.

Falling into Functional Fashion

Such a glorious indian summer has left me with a sense of extended carefreeness...a kind of reprieve from the serious structure of fall then winter's shortened days. Each beautiful blue-sky day belies the impending doom of daylight savings time. Every still-warm cloudless day, I walk about in the comfort and informality of flip-flops only casting my feet into real shoes that beckon from the sale racks at Macy's. Too high. Too narrow. How can I ever squeeze back into the unyielding pressure of business shoes and coordinated outfits.

This time of year has always evoked a sense of trepidation...the back-to-school blues or the back-to-work woes. No longer is it enough to dress for success.

I mean to like to put myself together and go to work, but if the shoe really fits, will I wear it?

Summer of Love

Why is it so hard to find a person to like and to have fun with. This spring began with a voluptuous bloom of romance & opportunity...where did the love go? ARGH!!! I have begun to feel a renewed sense of being fatally flawed. Ouch!

Love is really just an illusion

Sadly, love is just an illusion. It's as elusive as a rainbow. My how we fool ourselves in the name of love, romance and sentiment. How could I be so taken in? Again and again and again.

Blogged Down

I'm just terrified of change. And a new job might mean just that.

Power Bloom

The cherry blossoms are fluttering all over Washington DC. Julia and I are compatible travelers. She is off to the White House with her Uncle, Aunt and cousins. Me, I am enjoying the luxuries of a gloriously appointed hotel.

Spring Break Fatigue

Spring Break with Julia began with a jumpstart! Got going 4 hours too early so have spent an unremarkable morning downing Starbucks and watching CNN as President Obama signed the Healthcare Bill.

Dream Job Paralysis

I have an acute case of dream job paralysis. This means that when presented with an option or opportunity that perfectly fits my life vision, I stop dead in my tracks, paralyzed with fear of EVERYTHING UNKNOWN. Afraid to go for it and get rejected. Afraid to ignore it and get hit a backlash of regret.

But let it be known that today, I will break out of my pattern, shatter my own paradigm and GO FOR IT with reckless resolve. Onward and forward into the fertile frontier of the unknown. Godspeed.

mothers & daughters

Today Lexi let me photograph her.

Spending time with my lovely daughter Lexi, is something I've not done for 20 years. Being with her every day is a joyful surprise and delight. We shop.

I took Velvet for a walk today and by chance, we crossed paths with a dalmation, who from the accoutrements in its yard, i.e. dalmation dog statues, jumping track, rings—looked to be a show dog. I cheerfully greeted his owner with a friendly...."does your dog compete?" to which she replied "yes" without a touch of pride or joy in her voice. At this point, since we were stopped, Velvet started to pull on the leash and I had to say "settle" to regain control of her. Big deal! I went on to say..."oh, I've been told that my dog has the temperment for competing," and the lady looked at Velvet (with unveiled disdain), and snarled at me (with uncompromising annoyance)—"I don't know if they have competitive venues for uh, mixed—um, non breed specific animals. I looked up at her, smiled, then looked down at Velvet and said, "don't take it personally Vel."
I quickly realized that the conversation was derailing and said, well thank you for your insight. Goodbye. As we walked away from them toward the opposite end of the street, she called out..."You'll have to get better control over that animal if you plan to do any kind of show work."

Lexi is my shining star.

The Turning Point

As Lexi, my first born turned 20 on February 27, 2010, I marveled at how she had, before my eyes stepped confidently into her own two shoes. With such purposeful grace, she stepped up to reach for her own stars. A turning point to be sure. And a beginning just brimming with promise.

I'm so proud of her.

Spiraling

It is almost the end of February and I haven't purchased a new calendar. That's the problem. I hope. Trying to stay off the web site that has my hooked.

New Year Semantics

2010

twenty ten or two thousand ten? twenty ten sounds more millennial-savvy...but then the year sounds strangely sci-fi-esque.

I've been strangely high maintenance lately but enjoying so.